Saturday, February 27, 2010


Halfway is:


How many of us continue to make the same mistakes and take the same path that we have walked thousands of times before? How many of us can't seem to reach that point of spiritual maturity because we still allow carnal pleasures to take priority in our lives? I did this for over 13 years. I gave up on the only One who could repair my broken soul and fractured spirit. I gave up on God because I didn't want to give up my own selfish desires!

Too often, I would find myself compromising what I knew was right for what I pretended wasn't wrong just to find out the hard way what the truth really was. I began to make the same, rather stupid mistakes over and over again without even measuring the consequences of those mistakes. I settled for second best and I only went halfway. I never reached finality because I held myself back by choice.

God created mankind with the ability to choose. It is this ability which allows us to choose right from wrong. He has never impeded on this attribute that He instilled in us and He has never tried to take it away either. Yet, we continue to abuse this attribute or gift from God. I look around and see so much abuse of choice around me in the world. I see so much of the same selfish attitude that I was so guilty of for too long. It makes me sad. I am sad because I see the results of this selfishness and unwillingness to change. You see, we humans think we got it all figured out. We think that we are always in charge of our lives and can run them ourselves without any help from other sources. We don't need others assistance and we detest authority in any form.

But, I also see what comes from this selfishness. It destroys lives. It destroys the very hearts of people because we are too proud to allow God any room in our lives based in the premise that we don't need His help. We couldn't be further from the truth. It is only because of God that I am even able to write this blog or partake in His grace on a daily basis. It is because of God that I am able to provide the nurturing care for my two children so they will grow up knowing Him for themselves and having an intimate relationship with Him. It is because of God that even with twelve surgical procedures and many doctor visits later; I can still function and have a life. And it is because of God that, with all that I have been through, learned, lost, and received, I can still look forward to eternal life with Him after my short life here on earth. It is because of God that I am who I am!

I value my life now. I didn't care what happened in the past because I lived for the moment. I value relationships that I have now, especially with my God. I had many secular friends from my prior life but when I gave my life back to God, I lost every single one of them. I value my children each day that I am with them. I valued them before but didn't quite show that value through my attitude towards life. We can unknowingly send signals of anger and hate just by our attitude toward people and never realize it because of our lack of self-confidence and love. I did for so many years. I value my ability to get up in the morning and just live for God!

Remember what Jesus said in Revelation 3:14-16 And unto the angel of the church of the Laodicean's write; These things saith the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of the creation of God; I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew thee out of my mouth.

God, may I not swerve to the left or to the right. May I continue to walk in your steps and follow your paths. May I learn to put you before me in everything and always make the right decision no matter what the worldy consequences may be. May I never compromise what I have with you and only grow more in love with you every day that you allow me to live. I love you God for everything you have done and continue to do and I want to grow more intimate with you as each day passes. Thank you for your wonderful grace which you have so graciously extended to all of your children. I love you and I worship your holy, holy, holy name.......Amen!

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